E, f, g, h, is for

Dear Rob Thomas,
    You have no idea what you are talking about. A heart does not break from ideas. It breaks from poor diet, old age, or genetic defects.
The epicardium actually keeps that shit together fairly well. The chambers of your heart do not split in two just because you are sad. It does not stop to consider your feelings. It's just as relentless and unforgiving as the idea you are experiencing.

Don't worry, I'm not suicidal. I'm grateful for my life and do not wish to cause any harm to myself or others.

But, I just wanted to point out that no matter how awfully sad, or horrible things can be for you emotionally, your heart will not break. It just, mockingly, keeps on pumping blood through your body. Like nothing is even wrong.

The heart is an Asshole.
Write about that, instead.

Love,
Kendra