T is for tired

 Dear Dr. Ross,

There are people that are just born tired. Their cells combine, their mouths form, and they yawn. This isn't to say these people are bored. This isn't to say that these people lack appreciation for the world around them. These are people composed of dreams so heavy, their eyes slide closed and their limbs take on too much weight to carry.

You've never gotten enough sleep, Rip Van Winkle, dream, dream, dream.

Take my mother for example. The circles from under her eyes have been there since birth. She awakens when the world is alive around her. The mundane isn't interesting enough to keep ones eyes open. To miss all the impossible things a mind can create, for the sake of unloading a dishwasher. Oh no. That will never do.

That's what I meant when you asked me what my mother was like. Tired wasn't another word for negligent or sad. She is Alice. She sleeps underneath shady trees and dreams of chasing that white rabbit.

She wasn't perfect. But she did make little cakes, breads, jams, and tea. She just happened to sleep a lot, that's all.

Some people just have too many dreams to keep them here for very long.

I really wish I could make you understand that. You seem so antagonistic towards my childhood, my mother, my memories of her gently snoring, and my mouth full of homemade jam.

Love,
Kendra

P is for personal space

Dear overly physical friend,
I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but please do not touch me.
I need more personal space than you do.
Yeah, I get it, I know we're friends. That's what friends do, they make physical contact to show some sort of human solidarity. I get that you are just being nice. I get that it's "my thing." And I honestly feel bad about it. I don't want to hurt your feelings and, contrary to my spacial needs, you do not actually repulse me.
But I don't like being close to other humans. My comfort zone is two feet. I was actually ridiculed by my psych professor for having double the "average" distance. Weird, right?

This rule applies to everyone but a handful of people, and even those people have stipulations.
Even when I am full on ugly crying, my best friend understands that touching should be minimal.

There is one situation that this does not apply. But we will never get there. So don't worry your pretty head.

listen: I'm not cold. I'm not still. In the right situation, under the right circumstances, and on my terms I love physical contact. I adore it. I will one day break the mold and probably rest my head on your shoulder or give you a hug. But don't force me there. I may not touch you for a while after that. Please don't force that either.

I can't explain why I'm like this. Nothing happened to me to make me this way. No amount of therapy has fixed it.
And I'm sorry that it hurts your feelings.

I will make you a cloth mother.

If that helps.

Love,
Kendra